LiFe Of A LoNeLy BoY

2009-02-27T22:57:00.002+08:00

This few weeks i really felt very depress. No matter what i try to do, always will cause something to happen. That stuff is still troubling me, i still cant let go of it. I really want to salvage it back like last time. Really feel depress, hurt and pain. Everyone is rejecting me, maybe too much rejection cause me to have this sub conscious effect. Maybe is i going nuts, but really feel that everyone is rejecting and giving up on me. There no one i can turn to anymore. When i need of someone to share my feeling, there no one there. People i treated and always put they in the 1st place, dont put me in the 1st place. They cant even give up something like tv just to have some time for me to talk to them. I really in need of someone to talk to. And the reason is adding more oil to my depress, making me feel that i not even important compare to a tv. Perhape this has make me give up myself. Because even a tv is much more important compare to me, what is the life for me. I dont worthy for anything anymore. I just a thrash worst than a tv or so.

Suspect myself having depression =.=ll
having symptons
- cant focus
- cant speak well anymore
- keep having guilt feeling
- keep having headache

Can anyone tell me izzit symptons correct? or i think too much?

2009-02-21T17:59:00.005+08:00

He's Just Not That Into You

just catch this movie yesterday at west mall with my colleague.
Is a funny movie haha, and it should be rated as NC16 instead ^^

2009-02-20T22:51:00.002+08:00

Tag reply :
Zihui --> updated ^.^ and relink you + . +
Fizah --> haha next friday i confirm can go back ^^ maybe will treat you hehehe as your present
Huiqin --> woo thanks ^ . ^ shocking to see you drop by my blog heehees
suhaidi --> thanks i forget is what theme. i think is lonely instead of emo haha

2009-02-04T19:27:00.003+08:00

back to blogging once again. ~~ as nothing better to do
Change a blogskin, a new beginning a whole new start. There nothing much happening in my life. It just the same thing going to work then going back home. Soon at feb 25, my contract will end. My employer ask whether i wish to extend, but i decline the offer because of this work, someone told me cant go out is because of it. So i decided to quit as fast as i can. Nothing much to blog this few days. Perhaps i just blog about my O levels result as well as where and which course i will be going for my another 3 year. One more thing, i had a shock when i get my result. Miracle do happen in life, my English grade had improved from a C6 to a B3 wooo. Friends who know me will find hard to believe it. hehex.

O level result:
L1R4 --> 11 ( 9 after minus 2 because of cca A1)
L1R5 --> 15 ( 13 )

Posting of JAE:
1st choice get accepted.
Aerospace technology at ngee ann poly

2009-01-12T08:42:00.002+08:00

i will not make my problems be other people problems.
burden is meant to be carry by ourselves, not meant to be share.
Thing is going down the hill. Everyone is having great time after o levels. For me the greatest time i have is during o levels and before amath paper. Everything had changed on that day.
**If i did not ...
**If i know how she feel
**If i try to understand her that moment
**If i comfort her instead of .... when she was in stress

Doing something to wrap up the whole topic.
Soon it will end, no matter is good or bad news, at least it ended. No more dragging.

2008-12-25T00:21:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas
Santa i want her in my sock .....
How i hope all this was a dream a nightmare, hoping once i wake up everything will be back as last time or even better. But reality is something we cant change. Once i open my eyes, thing is still the same, the dream carry on. what can i do anymore? what am i suppose to do? my heart just cant let go. I hoping impossible is nothing but reality and facts are telling otherwise.
What i do now is wrong, izzit once wrong, forever what i do is wrong onward?
~~~
Nothing to blog about anymore, this blog is rotting as well. Maybe i will close down the blog.

2008-12-15T22:57:00.002+08:00

Tag reply :

shahirah --> sorry for the late tag reply hahax receive your wishes in face book ^^ thanks alot. yup i working now. Only free after 5 on weekday, 1230 at sat, sunday whole day free ^.^

boi --> yupyup. but nowadays seem to have no time to exercise, the weather also so bad.

ahwei --> i also like this song alot. haha

huiqin --> thanks ^^ thank for both the tag as well as the wishes : ) link you as well ^^

2008-12-07T20:48:00.002+08:00

Updated my wishlist ^^
i really want the 1st thing in the wishlist.
That will be my greatest present and gift for the whole year. ~~

2008-11-29T13:18:00.001+08:00

wow leave was approved for 4th dec and 17th dec. Yeah dont need work during my birthday. but have no plan on that day.... Confirm can go for class chalet ^^ i going to have panda eyes!! Straight away from chalet going to work on 5th dec early morning. i going to X.X ~~
I become fatter !! i put on weight !! everyday eat lunch that why haha.
See everyone soon during class chalet.

2008-11-28T22:17:00.003+08:00

Today i saw mrs grewal at my working place O . o
she come forward to me and say hi. So shock, so coincidence to see her here. She seem to buy medicine only and did not see doctor. She ask me funny question hahax. so so so funny, my working friend also laughing away hahax.

2008-11-25T22:07:00.002+08:00

Thing happen all in the same time, coincidence ...
Deeply in hurt, vision is blur. mood = -999999 i dont know what to do. breaking down any second and any where. I always treated no important. ALWAYS. I hate those feeling, those treatment. Is too hurting. heart bleeding. i just keep getting reject for everything. But why other people ask, will not reject? why why? why i am the one who always been sacrifice for other people purpose? why? why no one will sacrifice for me instead? Perhaps i have no place, no influence, not as important as other people.
Sorry what i saying here, is just my current feeling. i really need to release out.

2008-11-24T21:16:00.003+08:00

this will always engrave inside my heart. I will always regret why i did those thing, and ashame of myself why i cant have the courage to do something. Time pass, feeling fade away... however my feeling is still the same. Some how not for the her. Nothing i can do now, what i do is to wait and endure the different and changes.

2008-11-24T21:09:00.002+08:00

tag reply
boi --> something haha. something miracle to happen.
ahwei --> hope can meet up at class chalet hahax.
Aka --> thank for your tag ^^
hidayah --> so scary when fainted suddenly cant see anything or hear anything
Ron --> wan come visit me izzit?

2008-11-20T20:23:00.002+08:00

Tired .........

Both physical and mental.
But i will still endure ......
Waiting for a miracle.

2008-11-20T20:21:00.001+08:00

Tag reply:
Zihui --> relink le. Thank for the tag.
♥.kimhong --> welcome. got got keep coughing .... nvm ba if you don't go see doc.

2008-11-19T21:00:00.000+08:00

Tag Reply:

Maya --> Thank for the tag. anyway relink you already. That i cant promise when i am free, i will go back to have a look ^^

2008-11-17T23:52:00.002+08:00

Grad night over, my goal for the year did not fulfill in the end. Nothing to do at home everyday, rotting. Today went for interview, get a polyclinic jobs. Now just had to wait for the starting work date. Life is just boring, meaningless. I just cant stop think about that particular thing. It still deeply inside my heart. What can i do?

2008-11-15T23:54:00.001+08:00

Get food poisoning on grad night ...
so unlucky ....
faint at home in the toilet...

2008-11-11T21:21:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow last paper for my o level.
No more books till next year
Finally .....

2008-11-07T01:02:00.002+08:00

When i am been treat differently, there a flame inside me like going to burst out. No matter what is the situation, the flame dont see a problem to burst off. I don't care anything, this is esley pwee. i cant change this. This is the only i cant control over myself. i just hate been treated differently.

2008-11-04T22:56:00.001+08:00

GOOD LUCK FOR ALL THOSE TAKING "O" LEVEL CHINESE PAPER TOMORROW ....
INCLUDING MYSELF HAHAX

2008-11-03T17:03:00.003+08:00

SS is over left with MT, chem paper 1, physic paper 1.
O level is coming to a end. Yeah no more paper .... my o level is like not o level. So slack. Almost all the post in my blog are sad post. Today this post will be a happy 1 ^^ looking forward class chalet. Just by thinking of it, i feel excited already.

2008-10-31T20:29:00.002+08:00

Monday social study ....
I not yet started revising it...... All along i was slacking, watching tv, sleeping, daydreaming. Today, afternoon went out to play badminton. After that was just plain sleeping session zzzz. I just don't have the mood to study. Hope tomorrow i will be able to start studying. Rotting at home. Why i feel like after exercise i become fatter?? OMG my mind is going siao -.-lllll

2008-10-30T00:03:00.003+08:00

I am a dead meat.... In few hour time is my o level emath paper 2.
But i cant sleep arghhh !!
Think i sleep too much in the afternoon.... Now using computer thinking the past. Recalling what had happen during this year. So much had happen, thing i think is impossible had happen. But it went off and gone due to what i did. So much thing i regret doing. However, during this year, i learn alot of life, i learn and play and get to know more people. ^^ one thing i did not regret is to forgive other people. And to be honest to myself. Saying it out really make the matter worst. But the outcome was not so good in the beginning. Thing turn out quite well after few months -.-lll. But then i destroy everything i hoping for and creating for. Turn out after a long detour i get no where near my target. I hope i can change that facts. Left with few months? and few year? Any case will give in my 100% effort to make the impossible possible.

2008-10-29T19:27:00.002+08:00

Trying to think positive always. But thing that is happening nowadays is a obstacles for me. This just become a harder path for me to think positive. More and more thing making me to think negative. I really hope time can turn back. Is it really too late to do something or too late to change? Arghh Esley stop thinking negative. I must change. MINDSET!! i will try to think positive. With a great brainwash mentor ( safurah wee ), i will surely be able to think positive always. I MUST!! thinking negative had brought me to what i have now. I really regret it. However what i think which is negative is the truth. I must accept the truth as well. No point lieing to myself. No matter what i will always respect your decision. Friend are the most important? Maybe so Maybe is the truth? haha. I not yet come to a conclusion which is more important. Maybe to me both are equally important? Beside you 1st become friend then best friend then eventually become lovers. That the process. So friends are important. Without friends there will not be lovers.

Physic paper was badly done!! No confidence to score A. However i felt that the paper is managed able. Only a few questions, like the lens and the estimation of the wave length. It seem to me, i only dont know how to do question total up to have 15marks. Hope the rest of the question is correct.

I really hope my actions can change the answer. Dont wish to accept the answer if that is really the answer. Hope thing can renew, start a new page. A brand new clean page to write the journey of us. If really cant, is alright. I will not blame anyone, is my own action which cause the whole thing. Is not your fault, dont need feel guilty.

2008-10-26T21:56:00.004+08:00

It had been 3 months ++
All i did was to hurt the feeling.
The person i can blame will be myself, i should know this will happen if i continue to be like that.
I really regretted for what i had did.
I hope i was given another chance.
From today onward, i had learn something from my mistake.
Which is cherish the one i love and treat them the best rather than the worst.
Promise, i will not hurt the one i love anymore.

2008-10-19T18:20:00.003+08:00

Not updating & replying tags till o level finish.
Tomorrow will be the starting of o level.
All the best everyone.
Four years in secondary passes so fast.

2008-09-20T22:14:00.002+08:00

it had been long time since i log in blogger.
Here to update my life a bit.
Prelims just over...
Result were ok but not as good as expected...
4A 2B 1C. Once again my english grade is c6.
Haizz no improvement.
Hope O level i can score like my prelims.
O levels are around the corners. 4 week left...
Everybody good luck.

The picture below was quite a shock!!

2008-08-07T18:13:00.003+08:00

School are the same... *yawn*
but tonight something special happen hahax
so surprise O. O X.X
Yeah yeah ~~
Tomorrow National Day ~~~
Last national day celebration in Yuhua Secondary School
will enjoy it to the most X.X
Everyone stay happy and smile always ^. ^

2008-08-07T18:10:00.002+08:00

Reply tags:
Ainul --> okok i updating now hahaxx too busy with studies....
Name --> okok who are you? will smile more
Aka --> i feel like go home ma. so go home early haha.
Ahwei --> will happy - go - lucky le. Now eating vitamins ^^
Zihui --> okok hahaxx updating now.
Shahirah --> ya ya ya hahaxx. Update le.
Yuting --> no dead just too busy to update
Huiyi --> okok hahaxx but you guys should will forget us 1 hahax.

2008-07-16T19:01:00.002+08:00

2 more day to my POP ( passing out parade )
weeeeeee !!! serve for 4 years. It is the time i pass down and have a rest.
Maybe during POP someone will cry because of me passing down.
Or people will be happy that they do not have to see me again in NPCC.
Who knows hahaxx.

Friday will be my last camp in YHSS ^^
Prepare to play sports and do physical training till morning hahaxx.
All the best to the sec 3.
They will be able to lead Yhss npcc to a higher level.

Tag replied:
Aka: Thx for your tag ^^
ahwei: she drink too much le hahax. now addicted to it le. will smile more offen 1 and will not shut up le. so dont regret hor hahaxx.
heedayah: Thx for helping me in my english hahaxx.
lennarh: yo yo yo
shahirah: yup only 30 sec hahaxx. Friday POP woooo ~~~
xiu zhen: okok will listen to you 1 but you must listen to me also.
Kimhong: ya hahax.

2008-07-10T11:40:00.002+08:00

Tag reply:
xiu zhen --> okok thx for your support. when you need supprot come find me ba ^^
PL :) --> ooo thx thx. i reply you le .....
Safurah --> no la "get real" is apply to everything la. My weakness is everything.
Ahwei --> okok i will be waiting for your chocolate soon. No la i think i shut up is better.

2008-07-08T17:44:00.002+08:00

all i do now is failure....
every single thing.
like what mrs thong say
GET REAL !!
i should not be dreaming of the impossible anymore.
people life is getting better without me around.
When people without me around ruining their day, surely will be happy.
I just too irritating. beyond hope.
thing maybe better for everyone if this stay like this.
remember SMILE X ) always.....

Tagboard from now then reply.
too lazy to go reply.

2008-06-29T09:17:00.002+08:00

woooo back to blog
IRFAN IS BACK yesterday !!
today finally can see him (someone is excited to see him) ^^
Friday, my last or last 2nd npcc training hope them have fun as well as my cadet leaders.
Yesterday do nothing in the morning, around 2++ went around shopping centre for new handphone!!
Finally my dad and i went to west mall to buy w760/w760i.
the queue was so long, need to wait for 2hr ....
was damn boring, went for coffec at mccafe then went back to the singtel shop.

No worry safurah... i sort out everything in my mind.
Suddenly the thing just ok le.

2008-06-18T21:52:00.001+08:00

Back to singapore !!

Reach singapore yesterday night at 9pm

The next day/ today have science camp !!

Went to school at 825.

Safurah and kimhong leave the house earlier

In the end i reach school 1st ....

Cut short today....

Let my pics do the talking for me about the South Korea Trip

1 word to describe it

FUN !!

2008-06-11T17:37:00.002+08:00

going to korea in another 5 hrs
Away from singapore till 17 june ^^
but sadly, once reach singapore the next day had to go sch for science camp T . T
sianzzzz

I would like to thx SOH YU TING for lending me the camera
and thx TAN PEI LING for helping me ask her to lend me.

2008-06-07T23:05:00.004+08:00

i am coward
i had no courage with me anymore.
i just cant do anything.
people give me chances,
i just blow it up.
Dont take chances,
forever no chances
i am useless to the MAX.
so long~~
Esley Pwee
-A big fat lier,
-Hypocrite
-Useless
-Coward
-Selfish

Give up on myself.......

2008-06-05T10:13:00.002+08:00

Wake up early morning ~ 0 ~
cant seem to sleep last night .....
damn it, why am i like this haizz

People tend to forget the past as life move on.
so we must cherish all the time we have now.
Dont think about past,
Life will move on....
Maybe few year on the road, everybody forgotten who am i.

Dont wish to everlasting time,
thing will come to a end no matter what.
Therefore, we must cherish our friends and family now.
Who knows, maybe the next second i will be gone from this world ??
Human life are weak....
Who know when u are leaving....
but when u leave, do u wish to have a life full with regrets??
or a life full with joy and no regrets??
Is not too late now,
go spend more time with your family,
do thing u wish to do,
dont wait till u regret the rest of your life.

2008-06-04T22:05:00.004+08:00

Due to the comments i decide to post a LONGER POST !!
- .- '''
yesterday,
Boring, stay at home rotting * sianzz *

Today had been a long and tried day.
Early morning wake up at 7++ for what??
just to sms = . = i think sometime i siao also.....
fall back to sleep Zzzzzz because wait for the reply while laying on bed make me Zzzzzzzzz
Finally wake up ar 9 ++
OMG !!! my dad did not buy breakfast -.-lllllll
My sis and me decided to went for early lunch instead ^^
This mean going out wit my sister *evil smile*
My sis well know for sleeping, early lunch to her --> 2pm ++ = . =
She wake up at 12 sharp to play game......
At the end went to queenway at 1pm ( by dragging her out ) hahahaha
ermm.....
walk around queenway shopping mall...
before coming to queenway, i am suppose to buy not her.
but in the end, my sis buy more thing than me ....
Something good to go out wit my sis is that i will not have to spend $$
before going out will say nono u will pay yourself. $. $
in the end pay for me everything * evil smile * + . +
Brought 1 shirt and 1 jacket.
Guess how many my sis brought
1 fbt shirt
1 fbt shorts
1 windbreaker
1 sport shoe
1 branded bag
-.- rich rich sis including the jacket she pay for me.
I consider good le, i insist to pay for the shirt ^^
When asking her go out, mean i will have motive in mind wakakaka

Today lunch and dinner is both CURRY CHICKEN !!
so concidence : =/
eaten curry chicken at queenway for lunch
then for dinner was curry chicken again -.- at IKEA....
i am SCARE OF CHICKEN !!!
ARGH !! chicken everywhere .....
later tonight 99% dream about chicken !!
(not human chicken) (REAL CHICKEN) --> trying to be specific

went around IKEA shop shop again.
Today was a shopping day weeeeeeeeeeee ~~~~
brought alot of stuft ^ . ^
Found a weighting scale when looking around
Whole family go weight -.-lll
(my house dont have weighting scale -.-''')
YEAH !! i not the fatest in the family anymore ~~~
the funny thing was my mom lost in IKEA - . -
she dont know how to exit from IKEA.
Her reason for dislike going IKEA is because
- IKEA like a maze
- everywhere look the same
- get lost easily
- go in, pocket will have hole

Reach home at 9 ++
sianzz....
suddenly got those feeling that i am not important
~ . ~
never mind never mind.
Dont wish to be anyone burden.
Wish to have people to be my burden to carry on.
Wish to share burden~~

2008-05-30T22:02:00.002+08:00

Updating ~~~
No more remindals yeah !!
Going to korea in 12 days time ^^
Hope to have a great time there.
Today i found out a secret wakakax.
But is obvious is fake somemore the person still carry on to play with me -. -'''
I am really Okay + . +

2008-05-25T10:58:00.002+08:00

why is this happening to me again!!
haixx perhaps i should listen to saf....
pretend not to hear n see.
maybe i should listen to her.
T.T
last night had a nightmare about this incident.
wake up, i was having a fever, flu and sore throat sianzz....
tmr somemore MT "O" level sia T.T
cant study today ....
maybe must take MT paper again le ... haixxx
*pretend not to see or hear*

2008-05-22T14:54:00.002+08:00

Haixx now my life is all in mess !!
all is like shit haixx...
even my hair suck now ARGH !!!
my hair my hair ...
argh!!
now is short and disgusting !!!
so so so DISGUSTING!!!
i hate myself and my HAIR.
sobsobs T.T haix X - X

2008-05-21T20:58:00.000+08:00

I AM OK SAFURAH !!!!!!!!

go home early today!!

2008-05-19T21:12:00.002+08:00

Feeling hopeless & depress.
No matter what i do, i just cant seem to do it.
Nowsday felt that myself is talking too much.
I will try to change to a man with fews words.
NOTE : i am not EMO!!

Maybe is just me thinking too much,
i just felt that i cant do simple thing.
been treated different compare to others.
Haixx T . T
Nvm as long as people able to cheer up.

Is time for a change in Life.

2008-05-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

haix MYE result was nt good. My parent keep nagging say i did nt study keep playing hp n keep playing baseketball. When i had study for it but is they did nt c it only. disappoint wit my result. i seem to under peform. even all pass, all subject is so far from my target. haix

2008-05-10T17:37:00.002+08:00

haixx this few days very hot tempered.
dont know why argh !!
get piss off easily also....
a bit also angry...
i become more petty as day pass.
haixx gone case - .-

2008-05-08T20:18:00.002+08:00

I am having serious mood swings !!!
Suddenly happy then become piss off.
Then a while after happy and crazy again ....
OMG my mood swings worst than a girl le - . -''''
Last paper for this week le ^. ^
Tmr dont need go sch hahaxx.
Haizzz monday still got 2 paper....

2008-05-08T20:10:00.002+08:00

Tag reply:
Huiyi -> relink
esleyy -> who are u?? hahaxx ookk i will smile ... ^^
Aka -> thx big bro - . -''
Kensai --> i have NO idea hahaxx
Kimhong -> okok will work hard 1 ^. ^
ahwei --> i make sure the ball will become square
shahirah -> i replying le hahaxx.
Ainul -> relinked
Siewhui -> linked
superwomen -> will smile 1 + . +

2008-05-06T20:48:00.002+08:00

OMG !! jus wake up from my afternoon nap ~~~
haixx tmr chemistry paper 2 sure die le.
havent start revising anyting abt chemistry....
today dont have mood to study at all ...
reach home then slp, now jus wake up.
go back slp again at 10.
prepare to score a F for chemistry paper ....

Alert having mood swings offen !!!

2008-04-27T18:57:00.001+08:00

tomorrow will be MYE !!
Good luck everyone.
Jiayou for everyone MYE!!

2008-04-24T23:31:00.000+08:00

black joker change to yellow joker

2008-04-22T19:12:00.002+08:00

NO CHANCE !!
have no hope in life.
At last i know i am a useless person.
maybe is too late?
i just know i should be blur from now on is better.
Too detail thinking is making my life miserable.
Think too far, predicting future i dont wish to see.
Argh !! can anybody help me?
Failure in life
and studies!!

2008-04-20T10:50:00.002+08:00

yesterday haixxx no comment T.T
mood currently -->
Depress, Sad, and other emotions
in short is tat i am in depression.
Sry if next few day i no mood to tok or reply.
Jus prepare tat the next few day i will be very very depress.
Sry to those i harm n make angry.
I am such a useless person.

No mood to reply tagboard sry sry

BIRTHDAY !!!

2008-04-10T18:54:00.003+08:00

I LOVE YESTERDAY & TODAY.
Happy Birthday to HAJJAR and KIMHONG
Enjoy watching sunset with my geo class 4E5
Wish was the whole class haizzz....
Yesterday reach home around 9++ so late.
Slp in the middle of the night around 1am++,
get nagging frm REAL parent = . =
Today all so tired Zzzzz
celebrated kimhong birthday
"SOMEONE" FLY!!!
but really very sry
today kimhong carrying so much tings back home !!
X ) X )
end here....
everyday must read 4 essay frm my english upper essay
Nice to read ^^.

2008-04-10T18:50:00.002+08:00

Tag Reply:
Ron --> Link you le but still cant seem to find your tagboard X )
Aka --> thx thx for your tag
Ipan --> yoyo dad come here sia ^^
Huiyi --> no la Zzzz
Shahirah --> no problems hahaxx
Yuting --> I not busy la is u dont wan tok to me -. - Xp
Falah --> okok i tok alot le ^.^
Maya --> relinked :D
Ahwei --> hahaxx dont emo. EMO is ONLY FOR ME !!

2008-04-06T21:54:00.002+08:00

updating if not tmr sure get physically abuse by SOMEONE ....
hahaxx
Quite happy with my mock exam mark only my maths :X
get 36/50 for social study so shocking O.O improvement i had made.
Fail my english again....
Jus pass for my amath 35/70 and emath 48/80 low low ...
chem get 66% quite a improve again ^^.
emath retest get 60/70 haixx
all standard forms all wrongs give mr ooi see i die X.X

2008-04-06T21:48:00.001+08:00

Tag reply:
Kimhong --> UPDATED le hahax
Shahirah --> relink le okok
Ah wei --> haiyo go c la better for your health ma
Junliang --> nvr go c doc... too lazy le hahaxx thx for your concern
Pling --> thx thx tag more offen ba ^.^
Regina --> i oso tink so but all my pic all formal 1 ma wakakax
Huiyi --> thx thx no la i saying the attendaces la hahax.
Angella --> SEND ME !!! PLSPLS hahaxx thx thx
Yuting --> learn frm my shi mu/fu ma hahaxx ^^ u nvr come take wit me ma nvm nvm still got POP hahax
Ainul --> ?? hahaxx

2008-04-05T14:43:00.002+08:00

Sianzzzz midnight stomach ache sia 3am wake up ...
cant slp T.T ...
got piss off for someting haiyo.
= >=
having stomach ache again
very SIANZZZ

2008-04-04T21:20:00.002+08:00

YOYO i am back guys!!
Sometime even i feel i abit toot ....
Everytime sad or angry
a while ltr i will be ok le ^.^
yo everybody ESLEY is back in house
cover your ears as he blow u out hahaxx.

A JOB WELL DONE FOR ALL UNIFORM GRPS MEMBER
NPCC supporting con strength is a miracle.
good job good job.
Speech day end at 5++
my last speech day in Yuhua secondary school.
miss my sec 1, 2, 3 speech day T.T

WARNING!! those with photo of today pls send/pass to me

2008-04-03T17:29:00.003+08:00

Today
2 word to describe
suck, miserable

Life seem to be so lonely for me...
Was it my fault?......
Or your?........
i dont wish to find out and dont want to know anymore.
take it as my fault.
why others people angry and sad, there will be people comforting them.
but for my case no 1 not a single 1.
Today no 1 seem to tok to me.
So what.... life goes on....
i learn from andrew heck care....
dont wish & wan to tok,
then dont tok......

Dont ask me whether i angry or not.
what if i say angry
and what if i say not angry
so dont bother asking me
because i myself frm angry to not angry to dont know
angry is yst, not angry oso yst
dont know is because wat i feel today
dont know wat to say
care n concern
school values??
is tere any in my school??
who knows??
there might be but tat not for me confirm....
maybe is jus for tat person.

Some people tok to me today for only 1 sentence
is not i type wrong i repeat jus 1 sentence.
some even more worst not even 1 sentence.
i wondering now whether who is the one suppose to be angry?
this seem like i was the one should go comfort her/him....

i jus a "toot" or simple guy
i am happy when people tok to me.
what i mean by tok is not by sms
is by face to face
something is different compare to each other.
example wat the different kissing by sms and face to face
is common sense
if people dont wish to tok by face to face
then i suppose tat is not necessary to tok by sms as well
Nothing much but this simple cannot be done T.T
maybe this is not a simple thing.

Action say louder than words.
when u say u care but all u do is say and did not show.
wat for ?
wat u say and wat u do is totally different.
so what i keeping forget n forgive
some people may just climb over my head.

Normally guy feeling are the 1 who are weak.
guy keep feeling inside of them and do not share with other.
As people say guy should be cool and macho
and should not shed a tear even if bleeding.
that y guy do not give out their feeling out.
this maybe 1 of the reasons guys have more % of problem in mental health.
That all bull shit!!
guy get hurt and sad as well
who say guy will not break down.

Some people reading this blog may think i am a
petty & pamper guy
So what?
i dont care anyway
what u think i cant do anything to force u think differently
is up to u wat u tink about.

Maybe time is the cure?
maybe talking is?
who knows?
and so what?
NO 1 care about my feeling anyway!!

2008-04-02T19:40:00.002+08:00

Today was a tiring day.
It also a sucky day for me haixx....
Amath i manage to pass 35/70 with Q1 to Q10 only get 19 mark.
Physic test was hard for the 1st page.
English & SEL get scolding =.=
Chemistry had SPA it was okok for me.

After school, there was no remindal YEAH !!
but i still must stay in school....
Had speech day rehearsal to 5.
so tiring = . =

It might be me hearing the wrong thing.
Maybe u guys nvr say wait for me.
I just so stupid went around the school looking for people that had went back home.
Whatever i dont care anymore.
I will just keep my mouth shut from today now
NO comment !!
Freaking sad & depress
Today then i know i hate liers alot :@

2008-04-02T19:37:00.001+08:00

Tag reply:
to junliang = thx thx ^^ tag u le
to yuting = now then u know i good ar ? hahax thx thx for your concern hahaxx
to shahirah = ya la outdated hahax

2008-04-01T18:12:00.003+08:00

Life in school was just boring boring studies!!
Mrs Gill will only be back to school on thurday.
Not sure whether is it a good or a bad news.
After school had physic remindal ^^
play alot and learn alot during the remindal lesson.
Haixx T.T tomorrow got
SPA Chem Skill 3 & Physic test
Mr Ooi go use tomorrow social study period for the test
we was like - . -''
today actually got NPCC training.
But i decided not to go because of SPA "O" level haixx

Mr Ooi get april fool by ramya
but whole class get april food by Mr Ooi
:x

2008-03-31T21:07:00.002+08:00

This week will be a tiring week as well. SPA Skill 3 Chem will be on wednesday then SPA Skill 1 & 2 Phy will be on thurday. Luckly wednesday self study was cancel due to speech day rehearsal. Tomorrow i will be having my chinese test haixx.... every week there will be surely a test on 1 day. OMG i forgot that this thur i will be having amath mock test again and friday will have Emath vector n matriex test haixx...
Friday will be speech day, the time had time. Hope my voice will be back on friday ^^.

2008-03-31T20:46:00.002+08:00

Tag Reply :

to ainul --> my mock exam all die le = . = hahax lame lame now different le ^^
to shahirah --> Noting to update in my life too boring le.
to maya --> dont care wat other say, if yourself tink u r the best then we r the best if u choose to listen to them then we r wat they say. Not so stress le ^^
to huiyi --> will not be so stress le ^.^
to inaaaa --> link le :)
to peiling --> hello will smile 1 la wakakax
to joyce --> are you sure 1 hr noting ma ? or very big ting le hahax
to yuting --> where did i curse u sia ?? hahaxx i know i bad !! thx thx will take care 1
to angella --> oo icic abuse me sia during geo lesson T.T
to ipan --> tag me more offen ba ^^
to hyped --> okok linked
to fizah --> nvm nvm hahaxx can c u very tired ^^ next time ba
to ahwei --> tmr pe must play GAME hor wakakaxxx

2008-03-25T18:45:00.003+08:00

Today i becoming more and more depress.

More thing shows that what i done is only

creating more sadness

and making more people angry.

I am a failure indeed haixxx.

Giving up on myself = . =

Tag Reply=
To Ahwei: can c c tat y when one of us sad sure very scarly 1 because we are this type of ppl hahaxx.
To Aka: you very free sia ... sat hor at 10 am i tink ... confirm on friday ba
To Joyce: Really noting ar ? somemore can tok in the phone for 1 hr sia hahaxx
To Yuting: I shooting you ma so clearly le wakakaxx. SOH YU TING FAINT during the parade rehearsal
To Shahirah: This show that u must come my blog more offen to read my post hahaxx
To Ainul: LAME LAME hahax ok ok la -. -
To Angella: why go close down your blog ? too busy ..... le ar ? hahax
To Maya: dont understand then nvm la... wat is TC ??

2008-03-24T20:16:00.002+08:00

I AM SUCH A FAILURE IN LIFE !!

ALL I DID THE MOST IN LIFE WAS

MAKING PEOPLE ANGRY & SAD

2008-03-24T19:55:00.003+08:00

Just this few days, i cant see my laugher or smile cheering anyone.
All i see was that people complaining about my noise. Maybe my noise was irrateing.
Haixx so depressing this few days, but i will LISTEN to my MOM.
Will not be emo in school. but she never say cant be emo outside school. ^. ^

Let talk about different type of people.
Dont judge someone by the look is a useful sentence.
Dont think those person that is cheerful always had no problem in life.
Normally those kind of person had a weaker inter self than others.
They store all their feeling and problem inside them.
They act cheerful but they are stress.
One day they cant take it, they will explore very seriously.
They break down more easily than others.
So from now on, take notice of your friends that are this kind.
Try to share their burdens.
SO dont judge person by the look

2008-03-23T14:29:00.004+08:00

It had been a short but tiring week for all of us. Dont forget to have fun as well.

Monday, we had english paper 2 mock exam, e-math mock exam.
My e-math 8 mark did not do. All on the vectors topic *crying*.
Almost of my classmate did not complete the whole paper as well.
It had been a long day from 7.30am to 4pm in the school.

Tuesday, we had 3 mock exam paper.
Those taking 3 pure science, they had to take 4 mock exam paper in 1 day.
1st up is Social Studies, Mrs Gil say we did not done well for it. Therefore we had a retest on the Section B next week.
Next was Physic, follow by Chemistry.
The Physic was sec 3 test paper, Mr Ooi was too lazy to even change the way the question ask.
The paper was almost the same expect for the waves question.
Chemistry was okok, I think i am able to pass it, and get a B4 hahax.
After the mock exam, i cant go back home straight.
I had Speech Day rehearsal till 6p.m
Shouted my voice till .......
Is a home sweet home after it.

Wedesday, was Sport Day. There was no lesson but the weather was so hot !!
The stadium was building facing the raising sun!!
Those who did not run was sweating even more than the runner.
Sport Day ended at 12, went for lunch at JP mac wit childlish family hahax.
Went back home and went back to school to support the girls campcraft team.
After the competition, went to JP again and eaten bento box as dinner.

Thurday, a school day.
For most class the mock exam had ended.
But for A-math student, today after school we had our A-math mock exam.
The paper was so damn hard.
Luckly i did not study, even if i study i think i was not be able to do as well.
Went to JEC after the exam with Weijie, Safurah, Kimhong to watch Step up 2.
Kaijun join us to watch PROVIDED i treat her ...
Spend about $30++ on thurdays. broke le .....
Went back home quite late at 10 or 9 ++.

Friday, Rest day
Sleep, play, eat at home.

Saturday, Speech day rehearsal.
Wake up early morning to school.
From 9 to 12 had speech day rehearsal.
The weather was too hot that alot of people cant take it and report sick.
Some even FAINTED during the parade..
I was facing the toot sun .... my face sure tan till very dark.
DARK FACE !!!

Nothing more to updated in my life.
One more thing
Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII English verison is OUT !!!
FOR PSP ONLY!!!

This weekend was busy playing it.
Damn nice game, is a must buy for all PSP user.

2008-03-16T12:55:00.003+08:00

It been a while i enter this blog.
Sorry to all,
it was too busy for me to update the blog.
Got back my progress report last friday,
the result was not bad,
shocking that i did not fail english ^^.
Have 4A, 2C, 1B quite good improvement.
WELL DONE ESLEY PWEE!!
Few more month to Chinese "O"
Near Chinese "O" will be my POP from Yuhua NPCC
Just few more month, we will be leaving the school going separate ways to JC, Poly ....
During my birthday should make a reunion party for 4E5 hehexx
Now chiong for mock examSS.
good luck everyone

2008-03-11T22:10:00.002+08:00

TAN PEI LING
been force to write

2008-03-06T19:00:00.002+08:00

Replying TAGS
TO ahwei : LAME :P
shahirah : POST le hahaxx c u in camp. ^ ^
cedric : link le ^-^
yuting : really miss meh ? my post so boring 1 ....
marcia : Link le :)
Ak : Thx for your tag ....
ahkai : okok hahaxx thx for your tag
? : who r u ?? my msn is pwee2@hotmail.com ....

NPCC CAMP COMING SOON !!!
ON SAT ...........
THEN GOT TEST ON MONDAY > . <
STUDYING DURING CAMP TIME BA ....

2008-03-05T18:51:00.000+08:00

miserable life !!
what i say i cant really do it...
jus by looking make me sad sad

2008-02-09T09:20:00.000+08:00

Too Busy,
Update next time.
But upload some picture.

WAKAKAXX

Lame sia both of us

1st day of CNY before going out

2nd day of CNY

Me and my bro (dreaming of something)

Jus before leaving

Uncle hse, Dragon Dance (1st time sia)

Lion Dance 2 somemore,
Drinking beer and wine.(1981 wine sia)

Before

After

2008-01-23T19:14:00.000+08:00

New goal i aiming now.
One by one
frm the sec 4 to the sec 1,
All will result in the same way.
Starting frm the sec 4 n 3 today,
Manage to get most them to wat i aim for.
Soon all will get wat i aim,
Then i dont come NP.
Soon very very soon,
the date tat all will get will be before the annual camp
Aiming it, sure get it.

Today done something tat i regret doing.
Even is not my fault, i still feel guilty.
Heart is like been stab when i saw tat scene
I am such a failure for the guy,
I throw the face of a guy.
Did something tat i tink all guy should not do 1.
T.T

STRESS DAY
TMR IS THE DAY
PASS OR FAIL
DONT DROP OR DROP
7 or 6 subject

2008-01-19T18:39:00.001+08:00

Today early morning at 7++ went to ngee ann poly for the D.A.R.T competition.
Even thought we never won any prize,
it was a good experince for us.
Rush back to School for the CCA fair,
spend $7.80 sia for the cab ....
It time for performance, all thing went smooth.
A job well done for all.
After all performance, and visiting by the sec 1.
Mr Tan treat us pizza, wakakaxx
I never eat the pizza only drink the pepsi.
My watch lose le, less than 4 month only....
get hell scolding from my parent.

What i think now is that, NPCC still will be good without me.
The example is today, without me is much more better.
Everytime feel left out, dont know y got this kind of feeling.
Thing make me more depress is the ending of my day.
The thing happen when i come out from the bus.
Jus feel that, every single one will have a better life when i not around ruining your life.
Alone alone alone alone --> a very good word

2008-01-14T21:37:00.000+08:00

Suddenly in my whole NPCC life
i felt without me, NPCC is much a better place for my sec 3 and 2.
They enjoy and learn more when i am not around.
Maybe i should pass out eariler than my other NCOS/CADET LEADER.

nothing to update sianzzz life ....

upload a video make by nadhir when we go HRC hahaxx

2008-01-12T19:03:00.000+08:00

Just come back from ATF or HRC.
It had been a long day, from 7a.m to 5p.m had been playing high element.
Reach NPCC campsite at abt 8.30am.
We take the van in again, instead of walking in.
Had a short brefiting by the Camp Warden.
The way he speak was funny.
Keeping saying about the guys brother.
1st thing we started on was tunnel.
It was the same as last year atc.
But it still quite fun.

The next element we played perhers the most popular element among all.
The Double Flying Fox. Height of 31m if i not wrong.
Went down with zijie.
It just took us about 1 min to go down. Compare to 5 to 6 min of walking up to the Flying Fox.

Had Lunch at Muti pupose hall.
After lunch, we went to play the Pamper Pole.
Is a station when, 1 by 1 take turn to play.
The element is about going all the way up to the top of the Pole, which is 7 metre high.
Follow by leaping for the trapeze bar which is quite far in front of the pole.

Carry on to the Advanced Challenge Course (ACC).
Play until my finger get cut. 2 of my left hand de finger get cut.
Blood keep on coming out.
Because of that, i cant complete the ACC.
It seem that today is a bad day.
Get cut + halfway of the course rain.
i had no strength to go back because of the stupid cut.
Luckily the C.I come and pull me back.

After all that, reach home at 6++.

2008-01-08T20:11:00.000+08:00

School stress like hell.
Get back my English homework, i can see my hard work had paid off.
My mark beginning to improve slowly.
From mark like 8/30 to 10/30 to 12/30.
Soon i will have my mark reach 15/30.

Stress up in CCA and Studies.
In term of relationship, more worst.
All 3 add up, i going to siao le.
Only based on relationship i can go nuts.
Even thought of that, i will still hope for the best to come, not the worst.
haiz

Today have lesson until 1.20 the same thing.
Luckily for my Science Class, we had no extra lesson
Had Campcraft training until 6.
Finally had the idea of the shelter.
Treat 2 cadets bubble tea.

Thank Kim hong & Safurah for the Wallet.
Thank Angella & Kai Jun for the Pencil box.

2008-01-06T18:36:00.001+08:00

Done by Hema, Yuting, Peiling, Zihui, Hui Yi.

(if i miss out anyone pls inform me)

Wake up early morning at 8++,
went for a jog at jurong lake park to chinese garden to japanese garden.
Then walk back home ^^.
No energy to jog back le.

Went out at 11a.m to bus stop.
Wait for more than 1hr...
I aboard bus at around 12++.
Reach JE interchange at 1p.m++
I so damn late, the meeting is 11.15
then i reach at 1++. so guilty

Eat lunch with pei ling, yu ting, hui yi at long john silver.
After that went up to library to do the NPCC banner.

Went back home around 5++.

2008-01-05T21:37:00.000+08:00

Noting to update
Sianzz life
Doing Homework and studying whole day.

2008-01-04T19:10:00.000+08:00

Brand new year brand new start.
To me a brand new sadness.
Just the 4 day of the new year, had cry more than 4 times.

Life had no meaning to me anymore.
Cheat, lie, scold, love, hate, anger, happy, sad
to me all the emotions is noting to me anymore.
Hurt deeply into my heart, cant seem to recover from it.
I let my ncos/cadet leader down,
i let the most important thing to leak out from my mouth
when it not the time to say.
Disappointed to myself.
I am beyond hope le, giving up of myself.

Changing myself after this ting,
Trying to be more quiet, more mature.
Less talk more work.
Less fun more serious.
Begin less cheerful, more depress.
More depress --> More study
haiz able to consult ppl to be more happy,
but cant consult myself to be more happy.

Even if she nvr tell me the reasons i also will tell her 1.
When she ask me abt tat ting, i confirm i will let my ncos down le.
at the very begining i planning tell her le.
No matter wat she do,
i will not change my view of her.
But it jus hurt, and sad.
cant trust anyone le.

However, dont know why.
i still love her
T.T
tis make me more miserable and sad
no matter wat
i will still respect her last decision.

Campcraft change to tuesday( Not Confirm )

2008-01-03T17:43:00.000+08:00

Just found out the REASONs
Very sad n disappointed at myself
Just because of someting i say when i does not really mean it.
ME and MY STUPID MOUTH.
i dont wan u to change.
I wan u to be the same old person i know u.
T.T

2008-01-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

Going to school in 8 ++ hours.

Holiday seem to pass within a winks.

2007-12-29T21:04:00.000+08:00

Wake up at 8++, use msn and chat with yu ting.
Today meeting with nicholas, yuting, chingloong to play baseket ball at the court near my house.
Bet to yu ting that she confirm reach there later than me and late.
In the end, all reach there after 11p.m ...
Play till 12++p.m
Went to S11 at 1p.m for lunch.
Chat for awhile after lunch.
Nicholas went back 1st.
We went to superbowl and play pool.
Yuting from noob to pro.
Play better than me le.
I am a totally noob T.T
Saw angella and her sis at the mac there.
Went back home after playing pool.
Ching loong today --> lame pro ^^

Homework overview:
English ( Done )
Math ( 3 out of 6 paper done )
A-Math ( All not done )
Chinese ( All not done )
Physic ( Halfway done )
Chemistry ( Nill )
Geography + Social Study ( Nill )
Overall --> 35% done
Left 3 day to finish the rest !!

2007-12-28T18:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, 27 December
Had NPCC training from 9a.m to 4p.m.
To my shock, Sec 3 only got 5 cadets.
Train until everyone sian and tired.

Today, 28 December
Again Had NPCC training from 9a.m to 4p.m
Today the Sec 3 attendance much more better.
But the Sec 2 attendance become worst.
Train in the hall, let Mdm Siti watch our performance.
Get lot of comment from Mdm Siti.
Grand Finalle much more complete with news step by Ma'am to the baton, it become much more "Grand".
At the last 1 hour had games, my group lost by a big amount.
^^ nevermind it just a game.
It was fun with lot of laughter from both NCOs and cadet, plus dance from Khairiyah and Yuting, and actions of Klinton. It make the game much more fun and joyful.
But to the Sec 3 and NCOs that make fun of "that cadet", you should go apologize to her/him.
Everytime saw "that cadet" cry, haiz.
Can't say her/him also, i myself breakdown during today training T.T
After NPCC training, went play baseket ball with ma'am, klinton, kaiyuan, hema, ching loong, nadhir, nicholas, yuting.
My right arm suddenly bleed, dont know what happen to it.
Haizz this month indeed a bad month to me.

To those Cadet who did not make it for this 2 last training before school reopen:
All of you must buck up, and catch up and learn new steps from your squadmate.
Put in more effort to make up for those missed trainings.

2007-12-26T18:52:00.000+08:00

Change blog song to Still in my heart by Traci Spencer

Chorus: Oh, I just want you to know
No matter where you go
It dosen't matter cause
You're still in my heart.
Thinking of you brings tears to my eyes,
Seems just today we were planning our lives.
I'm so confused, wondering why,
How could you leave without saying good-bye?
Picture your smile inside of my head.
Still smell your cologn all over my bed.
Miss you so much, I pray every night
That the angels are watching and treating you right.
Chorus
I sing to myself so nobody hears,
There's just no escaping the sounds of my tears.
Miss you so much,
and every night
I can't get to sleep, it ain't right.
Memories keep holding me down.
There's just no fun when you're not around.
Don't know what to do,
Now I'm faced with the truth.
Somehow I thought that we would always be.
Repeat Chorus

This song can describe my feeling.

Today all i did was eat, sleep, play basketball and go for a jog.
Did a bit of chem and math.
Still thinking about it.

2007-12-26T05:42:00.000+08:00

Back to blogging in the middle of the night.

Wake up at 3++am, dont know why nowdays cant seem to sleep well anymore.
From 3++ to now, All i did was visiting people blogs and listerning to class 95.
Haiz, i wonder when can i be back to myself "The Real Esley".
Cannot be as cheerful & talkative anymore.
It maybe hard, but everybody please try to adapt to the current Esley.

Depressed nowdays, tons and tons of homeworks stacking up like a hill.
Never even touch my homeworks, only left 7 days to complete all.
To make thing worse, i lost a few piece of my homeworks. O.O
Going get it from all my cher when reopen !!!
I AM DEAD MEAT !!!

Christmas just pass, new year is on it way.
A brand new year, a brand new start.
Need to study more offen, need to be more serious about school works.
Chinese New Year is on the 9 feb.
:) next year chinese new year will be so early.

Going to the airport in another half and hour.
Will be posting more offen nowdays.
For now, good bye.

2007-12-22T20:31:00.000+08:00

Back updating my blog

At this moment 8.30.22p.m, i back to the single group once again.

This time, the feeling was different.

i breakdown more than 3 times
but must learn how to let go.

nothing more to update le.
this year birthday was worst than last year.

Thank those who wish me happy birthday and given me present.

Japanese Visits

2007-11-22T17:27:00.000+08:00

Today was a exciting day for my geography class as the japanese student from JSC are coming to our school.

To start out, all my geography classmates and me reach school at around 8a.m.
We went into the AVA, have a briefing about the ice-breaking games.
I was told by my teacher to station at the foyer.
At 9.15a.m++, the japanese student arrived in our school.
Mdm Vani, Ms Lee, Mr Jansen and my classmates went to the foyer to welcome them.

1st Up, Mr Jansen and the principle of the japanese school make a speech.
Next, the presentation by the japanese students about their type of music.
Follow up, was the presentation by my classmates about our school.
After all the presentation and talking, we were asked to meet our buddy.
My buddy look different from the picture given to me.
To proceed on, we were moved from AVA to the hall.
At the hall we had ice breaking game line-up for them.
Ice breaking game like musical chair, dog and bone, blow wind blow, straw games and honey i care for will you smile for me.
Due to the less students expected, the original plan of spilting them into 5 groups changed into 4 groups instead.
Because of that, the honey i care for you will you smile for me game was cancel.
The ice breaking games end at around 11.35a.m.

We went to the canteen with our buddy for our lunch.
I sat together with Siti because her buddy and my buddy was "ahem ahem".
It seem like the japanese does not know what is chill sauce.
Just take a spoon of it and put it into his mouth.
In the end, he drank alot of water to cool down.

Eat eat eat eat . . . . Back to the hall once again after the lunch.
It time for the japanese students performing their dance.
The dance was very nice.
We though was over, to our shock they invite us to dance together.
Maybe we just too "toot" in dancing, my friend and i just follow.
Once the dance was over, it time for photo-taking session.

At around 1.oopm, all of us wnet back to the AVA.
The japanese student present a token to our principle.
We present a token to our buddy.
At 1.15pm, they board the bus and left.
At that moment, all of us was like waving to them.
There a few picture below and a video clip.

My buddy, Sze hern, Me, Jon

Preparing for the dance

Sze hern's Buddy, Sze hern, Me, Irfan
My Buddy, Irfan's Buddy

Me, Siti
My Buddy, Siti Buddy

2007-11-17T18:17:00.000+08:00

http://sg.wowtv.com/ugcAddNew.aspx

Go Vote For
Yuhua Secondary School

2007-11-01T21:57:00.000+08:00

GOING ATC IN ANOTHER 14 HOURS

WILL BE BACK IN SINGAPORE MAINLAND ON

4 Nov at the afternoon

2007-10-20T20:50:00.000+08:00

This few days is totally very stress for me
I had break down a few time during tis few day
From the begining of the year, trying to cope up with pure science
in the end i will drop to combine science
all the effort n hardwork i put in are wasted
all the hardwork i put in doesnt seem to work
and for english i trying to get my english to pass
i try so hard and i put in so much effort
in the end i still fail my english in EYE
i have been asking myself should i just give up
and dont care anyting
Lot of tings have been stressing me up
With my english failing now,
i cant imagine how can pass my "O" level english
totally stress up tat i cant seem to tink carefully and well
with alot of other ting
With the discourage word instead of encourage word from my family
my life seem to have no future ahead
With a life without future, i tink so much for noting
my heart is in pain wit the stress

The feeling is making me to break down infront of my family
sometime i just want to break down infront of them
luckly i never do it
Trying to control tat feeling inside me
Nowdays if u c me without mood
try not to make me sad or angry
i will jus lose control of my feeling easily le
sry for wat i will say n do

2007-10-20T18:23:00.000+08:00

Down with a Fever after yesterday npcc training

Mostly likely is because i walk under the rain frm lakeside mrt station to sch without any shelter.
Just went out and see a doctor le, have been going to the doctor alot of time recently.
Sian sian at home, slp all the way then eat then slp again.

2007-10-17T21:27:00.000+08:00

Boring Day at home
All i do was slp, play ps2 and eat only
nothing else i do sia
Damn boring sia T.T

Happy 15th Birthday to Zijie

Today i feel very disappointed at someone sia
make me lose all the trust on u le
sobsob T.T

2007-10-16T21:45:00.000+08:00

YEAHH!! Today the last test for EYE hahax
So happy when the teacher collect the paper hehexx.
Become very hyper n happy after the last test.
But gd ting end very quick.
Recieve bad news on tat day.
Been asked to check physic paper.
Only 3 to 5 or 6 ppl pass overall.
I fail my overall by 2mark omg!!!
Went back home after tat n have a nap.
Went out at 3++ then come back at 5++.
Continue my miserable life at home wit my trustly ps2 & psp.
Blogging here and soon i going to end my day wit a nite rest.

2007-10-14T17:07:00.000+08:00

Some Photo i take during the trip heheXXX

Finally back in singapore le

surely no 1 miss me 1 X.X

Reach genting at 3a.m dont need slp le because slp during the car trip to tere
check in then play poker wit mom n sis hehexx. Play for 1 or 2 hr le, dad come back frm casino le, so went back to my & sis room. I watch dvd until slp X.x. Went for breakfast at 9++a.m. Eaten dim sum for breakfast. Follow by tat is shopping and some playing of ride n games. Soon is time for lunch hehexx, eat kenny roger roaster. After tat went shopping again lolxx. Shop until sian le then go back hotel slp Zzzzz. Abt 7pm went out for dinner which is zi cha. Once again, went to shopping after my dinner. Went back hotel and play poker again hahaxx. At 11++p.m suddenly got boom boom loud sound, went out n c. Shocking to c fireworks hehexx so nice sia. It much more nicer than the fireworks during national day. Went to slp after tat. The next day wake up at 8++, went for breadfast at marybrown. Check out after breadfast. Went back to singapore straight. Reach singapore around 5++. Went back home and take a bath, next to it was going out for dinner. Dinner was steamboat, the fish they give so many, eat until my stomach is bloating le. Straight home after dinner. Blogging here. Going to study over the night le or else die le tmr

2007-10-12T13:55:00.000+08:00

7 more hour to go

Do NOT call me or sms from today 8pm on to Sunday night

Going genting

once again, i am back here blogging.
Today the 2nd last paper
Do until my brain cell all going to die le
Went back home at 10++
Went out again at 11++
Come back at 1++
LOLXX go out for a while only ...
my parent siao sia bring family go GENTING again
Somemore i still got exam at tue sia
Nvm can left Singapore and sort out some tinking
Currently wait for my sis to come home
then can go le X.X

MOOD now = not so gd ++ a bit angry and sad

2007-10-10T16:02:00.000+08:00

Going To fail my physic and chemistry

Life In Sec 3 was so stress and boring

So many sad ting happening in sec 3

Next year confirm go combine science le

Damn sad when i get back my test paper

Math n geography still ok

Tmr having Amath another subject i scare

End here le i go studying again

2007-10-07T08:28:00.000+08:00

CANT SLP IS A TORTURE

SEEING TAT TING MAKE MY MIND TINK

WILD, WILL NOT GO FACE TAT

DIRECTION LE

Make my heart fan until cant slp

OMG last night i suffering from Insomnia sia
Kana fan by someting tat my mind keep tinking
even thought dont wish to tink still go tink
Cant slp T.T luckly my mom n sis havent slp oso
play trumbling tower and poker wit them until 3a.m
When time to slp, i cant slp sia
Twist n turn for more than 1hr ++
1st time have nightmare tat make me sweat even having the air con on
Nightmare so scary sia
abt the ting tat i tinking happen
somemore they very intimate in the NIGHTMARE
i sure break down 1 if tat really happen
slp around 4a.m i tink
then wake up at 8.20a.m
kana wake up by another NIGHTMARE
my mind cant stop tinking even i do not wan to tink
cant go back to slp le so come here n blog